In today's China, it has become very difficult to be a normal person. Why? Because when you look around, you will find that normal people are becoming rare animals. Meanwhile, foolish and worthless people are as plentiful as locusts, everywhere you look. Moreover, 80% of the disasters in your life are due to your association with these two types of people. They will waste your time, ruin your mood, gamble with your financial path, and confuse your mind. So how can we identify these unlucky individuals? And how can we avoid being dragged into the same quagmire by them?

Three hidden similarities between these kinds of fools and trash people:

The first type of person has the characteristic of being extremely shortsighted, only looking at the present, willing to let go of a watermelon for Gate. This person is a cognitive miser; in their mind, there are no words like "tomorrow" and "future". All their thinking only stays in the present moment, whether they feel good or not. To gain a small advantage from you, they can unhesitatingly destroy a long-term cooperative relationship; for a moment of verbal satisfaction, they can publicly embarrass you, regardless of whether you will later trip them up; to save trouble, today they dare to cut corners at work, not caring whether big issues will arise tomorrow or whether it will implicate everyone. Why is this the case? Because their brain's reward circuit is broken, they cannot understand the long-term benefits of delayed gratification; they only recognize immediate feedback. Like a monkey, if you give him a banana now and promise him an orchard tomorrow, he will definitely choose the banana now. Their life is made up of countless shortsighted and foolish decisions made in the moment.

The second type of person is characterized by a chaotic logic, unable to distinguish between facts and emotions. Their brain is like a pile of mush; when they talk to you, you can never grasp the main point. One moment they are discussing work with you, and the next moment they jump to gossip, then start complaining about their life. When you try to share facts with them, they talk about feelings; when you analyze logic with them, they throw a tantrum; you think you're communicating with them, but in fact, you're just sorting through the messy emotional garbage that even they can't make sense of. Why is this the case? Because their sense of self is too weak; they lack a core to support themselves, and all their actions are driven by emotions and instincts. They are not thinking; they are merely reacting. A single glance from the outside can drain their energy for half a day, and a careless remark from someone else can lead them to imagine an entire drama. They are not alive to solve problems, but rather to prove that their feelings are correct.

The third type of person is the most invasive; they have blurred boundaries and no sense of propriety, mistaking intrusion for intimacy. Such individuals are a disaster in relationships; they fundamentally do not understand the need for boundaries between people. They use phrases like "I'm just straightforward" and "I can say this because we have a good relationship" as a pretext to indiscriminately pry into your privacy, judge your partner, and interfere with your life choices. They might borrow your money without returning it, take your belongings without asking, and make jokes at your expense without any limits. Once you show any signs of displeasure, they immediately turn around and accuse you of being petty, unable to take a joke, or taking yourself too seriously. Why does this happen? Because in their cognitive model, a good relationship equals no distinction between you and me, equating to "what's yours is mine." This logic is carried over from their large families, communal living, and unclear boundaries in their original families. They think that reaching into your pocket and extending their feet into your house is acceptable, that borrowing your money can go unnoticed, and they do not understand what individual independence or mutual respect means. If you have such a person around you, you must be vigilant. If you don't run away quickly, you are very likely to be drained dry by them.

So how can we stay away from and defend against such people?

First, you need to watch your mouth. This tactic is aimed at short-sighted and gossipy people. You must learn not to reveal: your good deeds, your plans, your income, how much money you’ve made, who you’re dating — keep it all to yourself, don’t say a word to them. Wealth should not be flaunted, joy should not be displayed, and you should show less off in front of them. If you make it hard for them to understand or guess, they naturally won’t know how to approach you.

Then, you need to have the ability to let things go in one ear and out the other. You must mentally draw a line of defense. He dumps his garbage on you, and on the surface, you nod and say uh-huh, while thinking: What does it have to do with me? Don't try to understand him, and don't try to empathize with him. Because once you empathize, the floodgates of your energy will open, and he will pounce on you like a shark smelling blood, draining you dry. What you need to do is not take him seriously, treat it like the wind and rain outside, or like the neighbor's dog barking.

Finally, you must learn to cut ties. Some people you communicate with and reason with are simply ineffective because they don't understand human language at all. The only thing you can do is to turn your back on them. Use your strongest attitude, set the clearest boundaries, and clearly tell them: no, not allowed, stay away from me. If one time doesn't work, then do it two times; if two times don't work, then completely sever ties. When dealing with such people, you cannot have the slightest bit of softness; your softness is cruelty to yourself.

Remember, cleaning up the cognitive garbage around you is the first step to improving yourself and changing your destiny, and it is also the most important step. In this world, people are divided into circles; like attracts like, and people associate with their kind. The kind of person you are will attract the kind of people you desire. You must first clean up your own space so that the right and good people have a chance to come in.